Empty Promises and Choices That Follow
by Vapor2008
Summary: With that, her mind was made up. She reached forward and grabbed the boxes. One going in the trash, the other staying in her hand, and in that way, she was holding the future she had just chosen.


**This is an idea that just sort of popped up in my mind. I have no idea how this is going to play out because I just have the start figured out; so, you'll be discovering this story with me. I've written for NCIS before but it's been awhile, so I apologize if I've lost my touch. This doesn't really have spoilers, minus the whole Ray ring box thing. It's set on the Christmas after that, but doesn't really follow the 'Newborn King' story line. Anyway, review if you feel like it and let me know how it sounds. **

**Merry Christmas everyone!**

**(Also, I don't own NCIS or any of that. I wouldn't be broke if I did.)**

Christmas was supposed to be a time to enjoy the family and friends you had in your life. It was a time to be thankful for the blessings you had and to give back to those important people in your life. It was supposed to be a joy filled and peaceful time of the year, but that couldn't be said of the Christmas Ziva David was having. When Christmas Eve made its appearance, Ziva couldn't be more thankful that they were required to work that day. She needed the distraction.

For several months now, she had repeatedly been pulled back to thoughts of Ray and the relationship they supposedly had together. Ray had given her an empty ring box. He claimed it was a promise; a promise of the possibility of a future together. Since that time, she had been trying to determine how she really felt about it.

At first, she had thought she should be angry. Angry that he would do something so cruel and then just leave. Then, she thought that she should be relieved. Relieved that the box was empty; that he wasn't asking her for any commitment at that moment. Part of her thought she should be sad. Sad that the box was empty and that Ray didn't think enough of her to put something in it. However, all she could muster feeling was a numbness to the entire situation. She didn't know how to feel, so she didn't feel.

Unfortunately, that numbness confused her. She shouldn't feel numb, and so the last few months were spent trying to figure out why. Why didn't she have a real reaction to the box? Why had it been sitting in a drawer, untouched, since it was given to her? Some nights, the pull to get it out was so strong that she would leave her apartment, go for a run, until that desire was gone. She knew that if she held it in her hands once again, that if she allowed herself the tangible reminder of what happened that day, she would feel something and she wasn't sure she was ready for that.

Sometimes, she found herself wondering what she would have done if the box hadn't been empty. Would she have accepted it? Would she be wearing physical proof of a commitment to a man that was never around? Would she have turned him down? Would she have panicked at the thought of making that sort of commitment to someone and run? Sometimes, she wished the box hadn't been empty so she could know, but most of the time she was glad she didn't have to know.

Things with Ray were simple in a sense. It was easy. How hard do you really have to work at a relationship when you never see the other person? Do you have to work at keeping someone when you never actually get a chance to talk to them? They were together. That she knew. And that's what made it simple. They were together without actually being together. There was no work involved.

The lack of work was what had initially drawn her to a relationship with him. She couldn't screw something up that didn't actually require any sort of effort. When he came to town, those few and brief times, they spent the time in one of their beds. They didn't talk because talking would take away time from other, more satisfying, experiences. So, spending his entire time home in bed didn't leave room to discuss what was normally discussed in a relationship and that was nice. At first.

As time went on, she found that she didn't like coming home to an empty bed almost every night. She didn't like the fact that her and Ray never really talked. She didn't like the fact that when he was actually with her they only focused on one thing. She didn't like being with someone without actually being with them. She knew it made her weak. To desire intimacy with someone, but she had changed. Over her years with NCIS and her team, she had learned to embrace the woman inside of her. Not everything about being a woman was bad and wanting to connect with someone, be loved by someone, was okay.

That's the thought that gave her pause on this particular Christmas Eve; sitting at her desk trying not to think about that stupid ring box. She desired to be loved. She was with Ray and if that relationship was what a relationship should be, she shouldn't need to desire to be loved. She should know she already was. Part of her knew Ray didn't really love her. Not the way men loved women in those stupid movies Tony always made her watch. Ray was with her, and Ray was comfortable with her; not because he loved her, but because it was easy. He was settling with her; just as much as she was settling with him. She couldn't help but think that's not the way it's supposed to be.

* * *

><p>Tony couldn't help but watch as Ziva worked through some sort of inner battle. He knew she wasn't aware that she had been staring at his desk for almost an hour, but he couldn't bring himself to knock her out of her trance. She got like this sometimes. Introspective. He was fairly confident he knew what was going through her head, and he wished he had some words of wisdom for her.<p>

Ray was a sore spot for them; much like EJ had been. They didn't talk about him and Tony was grateful for that. He wasn't sure how diplomatic his response would be to having that conversation with her. Ray didn't deserve her and he wished he had the right to tell her that. She had only just told him about the ring box and it had angered him more than he had anticipated something would. How could Ray give a woman like Ziva an empty promise like that?

Sitting here now, watching her thoughts war inside her, Tony had to fight the strong urge to just blurt how he felt about Ray. Ziva deserved more than an empty ring box from a man who claimed to care about her. But, he didn't have the right to speak. How many opportunities had he had show her exactly what she deserved? And how many times had he acted on those opportunities? They had come so close to letting everything into the open so many times, but they always toed that line and backed off.

He didn't deserve her anymore than Ray did, but she deserved more and she should know that. Maybe he wasn't ready to fully cross that line, and she wasn't either, but at least he hadn't made empty promises. He knew, deep down, that they were inevitable, just like Gibbs and Jenny had been. He had told her as much, well, without all the necessary words, but she had known. Her response had been a classic Ziva defense maneuver. She had seen how close he was to forgetting that line existed and had stopped him from saying something he could never take back.

They had perfected this little dance of theirs. It was down so well that most of the time he couldn't tell who was leading anymore. They both knew when they needed to determine where they were headed and when they needed to step back and leave it to the other. He knew that right now it was her call. She was with Ray and so the ball was indefinitely in her court.

As he allowed his mind to wage its own little battle, he toyed with the small box he had brought to work that day. If he gave it to her, would she understand the implications that came with it? Would she accept it or would she kindly give it back to him and so tell him they still can't cross that line?

Getting tired of being too far into his own head, he made his decision.

* * *

><p>Ziva was startled out of her thoughts when Tony walked to her desk.<p>

"Merry Christmas, Ziva." With those simple words he placed something on her desk and walked out without waiting for a reply of any sort.

Had her attention not been immediately taken captive by the small box he had placed on her desk, she might have been able to formulate a reply and return his wishes for a good day. However, that box seemed to suddenly take up the entire room. For several minutes she simply stared at it, part of her hoping she was imagining it and the box didn't really exist. However, when it refused to disappear from her sight she had to accept the fact that it was there and it required some sort of action.

Not wanting to deal with this in the middle of the bullpen, she grabbed the box and tossed it in her bag and headed out. Once she got back to her apartment she went straight to the drawer with the empty box and pulled it out. She then poured herself a glass of wine and sat on her couch. The boxes placed side by side on the coffee table in front of her. For a long time she simply looked at them; knowing what only one of them held.

When she could no longer fight her curiosity, she opened the box from Tony. She couldn't help the small smile that graced her features when she took in the object that lay inside. It was a small gold ring; made up of many interlocking miniature Stars of David. It was extremely simplistic but one of the most beautiful rings she had ever seen.

She was smart enough to understand what this ring was. Tony was letting her know, in his own way, that she deserved more than an empty ring box. Even though the ring in Tony's box didn't mean what a ring in Ray's would have, it spoke volumes more. Her and Tony's lives were interlocked endlessly like the Stars in the ring and she knew her and Ray would never be like that. Tony had no claim on her and she none on him, but she felt like she was being asked to chose between the two of them.

Choosing Ray, would permit her to be with someone in the simplest sense. Even though he wasn't really around at all, she would at least have someone. However, if she chose Tony she was choosing a closed door with the unknown behind it. She had no guarantees with Tony. Nothing said they would eventually find their way to each other. Their dance could continue forever without either one of them ever breaking the stalemate. She knew what their future could be, if either ever had the courage to accept it. But, the question was, was she willing to give up something she definitely had for something that may or may not ever happen.

Maybe what she had with Ray wasn't what she really wanted, and maybe she was just settling with him, but it was something. And that was more than what she could say for Tony. Of course she knew that what she had with Tony was so much more, but it had never been spoken. There was so much unsaid between them, but that was just it. It was all unsaid. At least Ray had spoken the little there was between them. It wasn't what she and Tony had, but it was a start. Maybe things with Ray could work out. Maybe, with time, they would eventually reach the same spot her and Tony were in. Choosing Ray would be settling but sometimes settling was the best you could do, right?

With that, her mind was made up. She reached forward and grabbed the boxes. One going in the trash, the other staying in her hand, and in that way she was holding the future she had just chosen.

* * *

><p>The world has never seen a brighter smile than the one on Tony DiNozzo's face when he saw the ring on Ziva David's right hand the next morning at work.<p>

~~~~~End

**Well, there it is, folks. Let me know what you thought. This is the longest one shot I've ever written and probably has the least amount of dialogue. This story will really determine whether or not I get back into NCIS stories or not. **


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